and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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