btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
third nipple confirmed
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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