My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
