He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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