that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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