I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
