I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
