am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
