Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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