You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
