If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
