He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
