You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize