is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
