I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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