Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
