i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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