I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
