so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
