I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
