I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
