Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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