I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she peed on how many people?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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