i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
