I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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