So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
