was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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