please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
