A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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