On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
