he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
