She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
