I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Boobs speak an international language.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
