I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
