That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
