quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
