Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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