yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
