I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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