Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
