I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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