Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
