So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
please don't ironically join a cult
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