i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
