Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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