you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
