there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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