There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you win again, gameday.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
