Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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