I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
